THE SAVAGES OF WIRRAMAI
ACT ONE
by Sandy Fairthorne
CAST
RON Savage (“FATHER”) – 73
MARY Savage (“MOTHER”) – 68
DEVINA Savage– 38
ANGEL Savage – 35
CASSIE Savage – 28
MATTHEW Rawson – (Devina’s son) - 16
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“Behind every great fortune is a great crime.” Honore de Balzac
ACT ONE
Scene One
A 60’s style kitchen/living area, with kitchen bench, dining table opposite, and a couch. The paintings on the wall and the worn out décor suggest this was once, as far back as the 70’s, an expensively decked out, highly functional living area. There is one door (to the bathroom) upstage coming off a small porch area where a rifle is propped, as if ready for use, with a bedroom door (downstage right) and door to a hallway on other side of the stage.
A radio plays country music (“Stand By Your Man”). ANGEL, 35, sings along as she vacuums. She wears a large floral smock, exaggerating a tendency to slight plumpness. She tosses an empty bottle of whisky in the bin, and squirts around cleaning agent.
The song comes to an end. She turns off the vacuum. From a bedroom can now be heard the sound of a man coughing and hoiking. She turns off the radio, goes to the bedroom door and peeks in.
ANGEL (whispered): Sorry.
She wanders back to the bench then stops. The faint sound of whirring can be heard in the distance. As if picking up a separate vibration, she looks out the window: her face shows a mix of panic and joy.
ANGEL: CASSIE!
She looks around and spots the rifle –
ANGEL: Shit!
She grabs it and climbs up onto the bench, hiding it in a top cupboard. She leans over and looks out the window again. A truck can be heard turning into the driveway. She clambers off the bench. A truck door slams. ANGEL looks out and waves.
ANGEL: Hii.
She leans forward, and stares, fascinated.
ANGEL: Who is that?
The truck can be heard revving, then driving away. ANGEL quickly resumes her cleaning.
CASSIE stands at the porch entrance and looks in. She is everything her sister isn’t: a charismatic vision of dark red lipstick and underworld black. She lugs in a suitcase with broken wheels.
ANGEL: Wipe your feet!
CASSIE rolls her eyes, stamps her feet on the mat then walks in.
ANGEL: Hiii!/
CASSIE : FUCK.
ANGEL rushes to her to hug. CASSIE hugs her briefly then pushes past. She abandons the suitcase and collapses onto a couch. ANGEL drags the case away to a corner.
ANGEL: We’ve got to keep the floor clear for Dad. He tripped the other day (and –)
CASSIE (OVER): God it’s hot in here.
ANGEL: I know. Heading for a storm. Gonna be a big one.
CASSIE turns on the ceiling fan. It begins to turn...very slowly. She gives up.
CASSIE: I forgot this is a fashion piece. Does the fridge work?
ANGEL: ‘Course.
CASSIE walks to the fridge and pulls out a bottle of water.
CASSIE: Where are Hitler and Eva Braun?
ANGEL: In bed.
CASSIE: Still?
ANGEL: How’d you get here anyway?
CASSIE: Bus. Then hitched a lift with Jim /Saunders.
ANGEL: Saunders? / Oh God Cassie – No!
CASSIE: Sometimes a lift is just a lift, Angel.
ANGEL: I know that! I’m just saying -.
CASSIE: What’s with the windmills?
ANGEL: Windfarm. The latest thing. Doesn’t matter that the place looks like War of the Worlds.
CASSIE: Jim reckons they’re the only things round here that compete in size with his dick.
ANGEL: Well you’d know.
CASSIE: God how I’ve missed sophisticated country wit.
ANGEL: Dad keeps threatening to turn them into a tourist attraction. I can just see me
working at a little booth, getting $5 a carload to drive in and watch the blades.
CASSIE: Like giant stick insects.
ANGEL: They pay well, so -.
CASSIE: How much do we get for them?
Pause. ANGEL shrugs.
ANGEL: God it’s good to see you.
CASSIE (looking through her handbag): One night only. As soon as the march is over I’m out.
ANGEL: Thanks for making the effort. I know it’s...
Pause. CASSIE sits and pulls out some tobacco and papers.
CASSIE: I saw Poppy at the shed. Dugs to her paws.
ANGEL: He can’t get out there now with his leg so -
CASSIE (rolling a cigarette): Lucky kitties.
ANGEL: I was even thinking of getting a dog again.
CASSIE: Don’t risk it.
ANGEL: DON’T SMOKE IN HERE! He’ll have a fit!
CASSIE: He’s got no sense of smell anymore. I’ve smoked skunk in the same room. Never said a thing.
ANGEL: He notices. He’s just too -
A beat. CASSIE waits. ANGEL shakes her head and smiles.
CASSIE: You were gonna say scared of me weren’t you?
ANGEL (lying): No.
CASSIE tilts her head back and takes in a large breath of smoke. She stares in to space for a moment, smiling.
CASSIE: Where are the others so I can scare them too?
ANGEL: Devina and Matthew got in late last night. They’ve gone in to do a shop.
CASSIE: Where’s Henry?
ANGEL shakes her head. CASSIE smiles.
ANGEL: You look - different.
CASSIE: What sort of different? Good, bad or..wierd?
ANGEL studies CASSIE for a moment.
ANGEL: Um..
CASSIE: Take your time.
ANGEL: No.. Good different, yeah..
CASSIE: How’d you pay for it anyway?
ANGEL: Cleaning jobs and -
CASSIE: That’s a lot of cleaning.
ANGEL: So was it good?
CASSIE: Good’s not exactly the (word)
ANGEL (OVER): Did you make any friends?
CASSIE: Well yeah, but not – you know – forever friends.
ANGEL: Why not?
CASSIE: ‘Cos we’d all end up having a huge party to celebrate and go out and score together what do you think? (Pause) They gave me stuff to help me through. And - we talked a lot.
ANGEL: If things get tough I can always drive you back –
CASSIE: I’m not going (back).
ANGEL (OVER): I mean to Melbourne.
CASSIE: Or I can hitch. (teasing) With Jim.
ANGEL: Jim shouldn’t be driving Cassie.
CASSIE: Oh really?
ANGEL: He’s just lost his license.
CASSIE: Is that right?
ANGEL: I’ll drive you. Not (Jim)
CASSIE (OVER): Okay okay. Jesus!
CASSIE smokes. Outside it starts to rain heavily. The mood shifts slightly, as CASSIE considers the night ahead. ANGEL waves the smoke away from her face.
ANGEL: Bloody FLIES. Every time there’s a storm–
CASSIE: Did you tell them? Where I’ve been?
ANGEL: Who Mum and Dad?
CASSIE: Were they pleased?
ANGEL: ‘Course.
ANGEL walks off towards her parent’s bedroom door again.
CASSIE: Where you going?
ANGEL: Just to see if they’re awake?
CASSIE: I’M the one in recovery.
ANGEL: It’s nearly lunch time and they don’t even know you’re here yet.
CASSIE: Don’t talk I feel sick. (pause) Maybe I’m coming down with something.
ANGEL: It’s just the heat. (pause) Or do you think -?
CASSIE: What?
ANGEL: Well -
CASSIE: What?
ANGEL: Do you think you might be putting them in danger?
CASSIE: Who in danger?
ANGEL: Mum and (Dad).
CASSIE (OVER): Don’t be (stupid).
ANGEL (OVER): But if it’s catching they might –
CASSIE: I’ll WASH MY HANDS.
ANGEL: Oh. Okay, then.
CASSIE: GOD.
ANGEL: I’m sorry I just -
CASSIE: Shut up. I’ve got no energy to speak or listen to you. I am drained. Exhausted.
Nauseous. Shakey. Look! My hands are –
ANGEL: Maybe you’re –.
Pause.
CASSIE: Maybe I’m -?
ANGEL: Nothing.
CASSIE: You were going to say hungover.
ANGEL: ‘Course (not!)
CASSIE (OVER): I don’t drink anymore Angel.
ANGEL: I mean anxious maybe you’re anxious about being (home again).
CASSIE (OVER): Not like some people round here.
CASSIE walks over to a drinks cabinet and starts looking through some bottles. ANGEL watches her discover a bottle of whisky, still in its box.
CASSIE (CONT’D): Jesus. Look at this.
ANGEL: Dad stocked up last week.
CASSIE examines the bottle, then in quiet disgust puts it back in the grog cupboard.
CASSIE: Nice. Thoughtful. Supportive.
ANGEL: I’ll support you. I won’t drink.
CASSIE: Come on (Angel)
ANGEL (OVER): I won’t drink. I won’t. I won’t drink. It’s no big deal. I -.
Long pause. They stare at each other.
ANGEL (CONT’D): Won’t. Drink.
CASSIE shrugs and starts rummaging around in her handbag. She pulls out her mobile phone, starts to text then tries to send it. She waves the mobile round, as ANGEL stares into her parent’s room, biting her fingernails.
CASSIE: Is there anywhere -?
ANGEL: Try –
ANGEL stands in the reception spot. CASSIE goes to it and holds up her mobile.
CASSIE: I’ll have to use the landline.
ANGEL: Can’t. Lines are down.
CASSIE: Jesus.
ANGEL: Who - is it?
CASSIE: My buddy. From rehab.
ANGEL: Who’s your buddy?
CASSIE (reading mobile): He texts stuff like – (in whispery New Age voice) – “Hey there Cassie. Thinking of you, take it easy and remember to BREEATHE.”
ANGEL: Who forgets to breathe?
CASSIE: I dunno. A corpse?
They laugh a little.
ANGEL: I’ll be your buddy here okay? I’m your buddy here.
CASSIE checks her phone. Then tries to send it again. No success.
ANGEL (CONT’D): I should wake them up.
CASSIE: What’s the hurry? He’ll be awake soon enough. He’ll wander out for a snack or to try to make it to the bathroom in time and here we’ll be. And then it’ll just be work. (Pause) You look after them too well if you ask me.
ANGEL: What?
CASSIE: All this tending to them it’s (unnatural) -
ANGEL (OVER): How can you (say that)
CASSIE (OVER): You give him too much attention. He’s self absorbed enough.
ANGEL: That’s an awful thing to say. He can hardly walk!
CASSIE: Oh yeah. Sorry. Forgot.
ANGEL: That’s terrible Cassie.
CASSIE: Just slipped out.
From their bedroom, the sounds again of FATHER hoiking. CASSIE grimaces.
ANGEL: I’m thinking of buying a baby moniter.
CASSIE: What, so you can watch them sleep?
ANGEL: That’s what it’s like. That’s how bad it’s got. You have no idea.
CASSIE (pulling out some tablets): Jesus.
ANGEL: If Mum gets angina, Dad falls over trying to get to the phone. If Dad falls over –which he did last week - Mum gets angina trying to get him up again. It’s only a matter of time before Dad breaks his hip and Mum has to have a pacemaker put in. That’s what Dr Healy reckons.
CASSIE (swigging down tablets): Dr Healy’s a freak.
ANGEL: What are they?
CASSIE: Rehab supplied them to me. For - emergencies.
ANGEL: Oh. Okay then.
CASSIE: I don’t need your permission Angel.
ANGEL: It’s just – after (last time)
CASSIE (OVER): Have one.
ANGEL: What?
CASSIE: Have one.
Pause. CASSIE holds out a sheet of tablets. ANGEL looks at them for a moment.
ANGEL: I don’t need –
CASSIE: It’s only valium. (ANGEL shakes her head) Oh that’s right –I forgot – She’s sooo (good)
ANGEL (OVER): Don’t (start)
CASSIE (OVER): Such a sweet little girl – so (caring and -)
ANGEL (OVER): Don’t do (this)
CASSIE (OVER): Kind and generous and (thoughtful-)
ANGEL (OVER): Shut up!
CASSIE: Don’t YELL AT ME.
ANGEL: I’m not yelling.
CASSIE: You bloody are! (pause) And stop watching me. Everything I do is always reported back to (someone else in the)
ANGEL (OVER): No it’s not./
CASSIE (OVER): - family these days/.
ANGEL: I’m not interested in (watching you)-/
CASSIE (OVER): I cannot (fucking MOVE)/
ANGEL (OVER): I’m not watching you. I don’t care what you do.
Pause.
CASSIE: GOOD.
ANGEL picks up a cloth and begins to wipe the bench. CASSIE scratches and tries to breathe deeply.
ANGEL: Just – don’t mix them Cassie.
Pause.
CASSIE: What?
ANGEL: We don’t - need another - like last (year )–
CASSIE (OVER): Last year I was in GRIEF for God’s sake -
ANGEL (OVER, backing off): Ofcourse you (were –)
CASSIE (OVER): Last year was the worst year of my life!
ANGEL: I know - I just – we don’t need another – like..
CASSIE: Jesus I’m just out of fucking (rehab -)
ANGEL (OVER): Sorry - I (know)
CASSIE (OVER): Give me a break!
ANGEL: Sorry. I’m just - .
CASSIE: Christ Angel -
ANGEL (OVER): Sorry -
CASSIE: Just GROW UP.
Long pause. CASSIE looks around restlessly.
CASSIE (CONT’D): I cannot believe how little this place has changed.
ANGEL: Spooky isn’t it?
CASSIE: Mum still hasn’t got a dishwasher.
ANGEL: Dad was always on about how much more family time we had washing the dishes, remember? Remember that time you stabbed me with the butter knife while I was drying up?
CASSIE: It was a pate knife -
ANGEL: Right in the belly button you got me.
CASSIE: It was tiny. It didn’t even have a point.
ANGEL: It was so painful.
CASSIE: You always tell that story. I can’t even remember it.
Pause. A rumble of thunder.
ANGEL: Oh God. What if the march is cancelled? What if Devina and Matthew get stuck in the storm?
CASSIE watches ANNIE wipe down the kitchen table.
CASSIE: How’s your business anyway?
ANGEL: I thought of a name for it. The Immaculate Cleaning service.
CASSIE: Very chaste.
ANGEL: I got another client yesterday. So that’s the hospital, Briar Rose B and B, the Grand and –
CASSIE: The Grand Hotel?
ANGEL: Yeah!
CASSIE: Hey can you drive me in?
ANGEL: What for?
CASSIE: To play pool. Hey let’s take Dad’s old rifle and pretend to hold up the drive through.
Pause. CASSIE looks at her sister with a ‘dare you’ expression.
ANGEL: Cassie No.
CASSIE: I was joking you dick. They’d laugh.
Pause. ANGEL fans herself. CASSIE is fidgety.
ANGEL: Anyway, Dad hid it.
CASSIE: What the gun?
ANGEL: Yesterday.
A beat. ANGLE keeps fanning. CASSIE rolls another cigarette.
CASSIE: I heard about your early menopause.
ANGEL: Who told you?
CASSIE: You could have twins Angel! If you had sex. All the eggs are giving up and popping off in twos. Like a last minute mass exodus. “No action here kids, let’s (go!”)
ANGEL (OVER): DON’T talk like that!
CASSIE: Actually best you don’t. (softening) Why’d you want to pass on our genes anyway?
ANGEL: Don’t you think I should wake them up and tell them you’re here?
CASSIE: Do you ever wish you’d had kids?
ANGEL: Maybe they’re hiding from you?
CASSIE: I don’t.
ANGEL: Mum always wanted us to.
CASSIE: Why?
ANGEL: Who’s going to help us? When we’re dying?
CASSIE: They’re not dying Angel. They’re not even close to dying.
ANGEL (OVER): Dad’s had three mini strokes this year –
CASSIE: Mini strokes (what next?)
ANGEL (OVER): - plus Mum’s heart’s always playing up.
CASSIE: What are mini strokes?
ANGEL: It’s true! He lost his eyesight for a day.
CASSIE: How come I wasn’t told?
ANGEL: It was only one eye.
CASSIE: Well I don’t want to die old.
ANGEL: Oh come on – it’d be fun. We could move in somewhere together and play ‘guess my number’.
CASSIE: You’ve already booked into the Wirramai Peace Haven, haven’t you? (ANGEL rolls her eyes) Oh my God you have! HA! (lighting her rollie) It’s obvious why Henry isn’t coming. Last time…he leered at me all weekend.
ANGEL: Really?
CASSIE: Then just as they were leaving, he grabbed my tit.
ANGEL: Oh my God!
CASSIE: So I bit him.
ANGEL: Did Devina see?
CASSIE: She was packing the car.
ANGEL: Wow! Why doesn’t anyone leer at me?
CASSIE: Drew blood.
ANGEL: You flirt that’s why.
CASSIE: With Henry. As IF.
Pause.
CASSIE (CONT’D): So where’s Annie then?
ANGEL: I dunno. Gone off us. She’s very superior these days. The new generation of female is full of all the confidence Greer fought so hard for, with none of the gratitude. I read it in this book I’m reading.
CASSIE: Really?
ANGEL: Yin and Jung. Feminism from a Jungian perspective.
CASSIE: Helping?
ANGEL: It gives me strategies. For coping.
CASSIE (eyes closed, zoning out): Fabulous.
Pause.
ANGEL: She wants to be a doctor, did you know?
CASSIE: Who?
ANGEL: Your niece Annie? She wants to do medicine.
CASSIE: Really?
ANGEL: Imagine a female in this family doing medicine! Devina reckons she’ll be able to help Henry on his way - when he’s all – you know –
CASSIE spots her FATHER in the bedroom doorway, leaning heavily on his walking stick. ANGEL has yet to notice him. He is well groomed, wearing freshly pressed trousers and shirt.
CASSIE: When he’s all what?
ANGEL: Infirm.
CASSIE: Infirm?
ANGEL: You know – Annie can euthanaise him –
CASSIE: What, euthanaise her own father?
ANGEL: Yeah…
CASSIE: What, you mean -?
ANGEL: Imagine it!
ANGEL does an imitation of a nurse watching on –
ANGEL (CONT’D): “No! Not your own father! Please, not here!” (in voice of ‘evil daughter’) “Yes, right here, right now I’m afraid! (injecting morphine action) Bye bye Dad! Byee!”
ANGEL exaggerates waving goodbye like a little girl. FATHER watches, his face reading mild disgust. ANGEL follows CASSIE’s look and stares at him guiltily.
ANGEL (CONT’D): Morning.
CASSIE (coolly): Hi Dad.
He limps into the room.
ANGEL: Well give him a kiss!
CASSIE totters over to him, and without actually touching, gives him a theatrical luvee air kiss (“mwoh”).
FATHER: What’s that smell?
ANGEL: We were wondering where you were.
FATHER: Didn’t look very far did you?
ANGEL: I looked at the bed but –
CASSIE: You’re both so tiny we couldn’t see you there! Little tiny whiney little things you are! But look at you – popping up like a cork again!
FATHER: Still dressing like a teenager?
ANGEL: How are you this morning?
He tries to smile but only his mouth moves. He starts to limp slowly to the table to sit down.
FATHER: Same as usual. Half deaf, half blind, half (crippled.)
ANGEL (OVER): How’d you sleep?
FATHER: Nothing wrong with my sense of smell anyway.
ANGEL wipes down the table again. CASSIE looks in her bags for something.
FATHER (CONT’D): Where are-?
ANGEL: Devina and Matthew have gone in for a shop. They were going to ask you but you were (asleep.)
FATHER (OVER): Doing my ablutions. (to CASSIE) How’d you get here then?
CASSIE: I flew.
FATHER: That’d be bloody right.
ANGEL: Guess who she got a (lift with)
CASSIE (OVER): Shut up Angel.
FATHER: How long they been?
ANGEL: They’ll be home any minute./
CASSIE: They’re on their way Dad.
FATHER: Have you rung to see (where they are)?
CASSIE (OVER): They’re on their way they’re on their way they’re on their way.
ANGEL: Matthew’s coming back, (don’t worry.)
CASSIE (OVER): You won’t be overwhelmed with stupid females for long. Speaking of which…(she goes to the bedroom door, holding a present, and looks inside.) Mum?
CASSIE walks out of the room. ANGEL stands awkwardly in front of her father, smiling like a child. She passes him some mail. He looks at it. In the background can be heard the sound of CASSIE and MOTHER, talking excitedly.
CASSIE (CONT’D offstage): Look at you darling!
MOTHER (offstage): Lovely to have you here at last.. (ETC)
FATHER: Keep it down for God’s sake!
ANGEL: They’re just excited to (see each other)
FATHER (OVER): KEEP IT DOWN.
Silence. ANGEL bends down in front of her father.
ANGEL: You want some breakfast or..?
FATHER: Stand away from me please. You smell of onions.
ANGEL: I showered this morning-
FATHER: You’ve put on more weight.
ANGEL: What?
FATHER: You’re looking bigger.
ANGEL: It’s only been a day since we discussed (that Dad)
FATHER (OVER): What do you do with it all?
ANGEL: What?
FATHER: What do you eat to get so –
ANGEL: I eat what you eat.
FATHER: I hear the fridge door at night.
ANGEL: You’re being - inappropriate Dad.
FATHER (looking up): Beg your pardon? Did you just say -
ANGEL: Inappropriate. Especially (when- )
FATHER (OVER): Don’t (be funny.)
ANGEL (OVER): Excuse me –
FATHER: You heard.
ANGEL: Excuse me Dad. You (interrupted me.)
FATHER (OVER): I’ll tell you what’s inappropriate – it’s having a forty year old –
ANGEL: Thirty (five–)
FATHER (OVER): - middle aged charwoman for a daughter, that’s inappropriate.
ANGEL: That too is an inappropriate thing to say to me – especially given (that I – excuse me, excuse me - )
FATHER (OVER): Christ almighty unappreciative, unappreciative after all I’ve done for you –
ANGEL: I didn’t say unappreciative I said inappropriate.
FATHER: Don’t you bloody start.
Pause.
ANGEL: Start what?
FATHER: I know what you’re doing.
ANGEL: I think mistaking ‘inappropriate’ for ‘unappreciative’ was an interesting Freudian slip on your part actually.
FATHER: Jesus wept.
ANGEL: I also take offense at being called a witchedy grub.
FATHER: What?
ANGEL: Last night you called me a witchedy grub in a dress. At dinner.
FATHER: Don’t be stupid.
ANGEL: Don’t you remember?
FATHER: ‘Course I bloody remember.
ANGEL: I’d prefer it if you didn’t talk to me (like that-)
FATHER (OVER): You’d prefer – has anyone bothered to ask what I’d prefer (for a change?)-
ANGEL (OVER): I - I hadn’t finished speaking (Dad)-
FATHER (OVER): It’s not all about you you know. Jesus.
ANGEL: I’m just saying – oh – God (this is so -)
FATHER (OVER): This is my home isn’t it?
ANGEL: Yes Dad. It is.
FATHER: Well? “What would you prefer Daddy?” Hmm?
Pause.
ANGEL: I was just saying – this isn’t – . (she clears the air with her hands, takes a deep breath and smiles) Good morning. Did you sleep well?
FATHER (looking at the paper): Stomach stapling.
ANGEL (HORRIFIED): What?
FATHER: Healy and I could get you into a good place before it’s too late. (ANGEL sighs. Pause. He looks up from his paper) I don’t mind if you don’t stand there.
ANGEL goes to the kitchen bench and puts the kettle on.
ANGEL: We’re all excited about the weekend Dad. We’re all bringing something to the Anzac Day lunch. You know, a little joke, or song or story –
FATHER (starting to read the mail): Don’t tell me. Make it a surprise.
She brings over some tablets, which she puts down in front of him on a small saucer with a glass of water. She then carries over the bunch of flowers, a card and pen.
FATHER: What are these then?
ANGEL: Your painkillers. And - for Mum.
He picks up the card and looks at ANGEL, who passes him a pen. He begins to write something to his wife. ANGEL tries to see.
FATHER: That kettle boiling yet?
ANGEL: Just about to. How’d Mum sleep?
FATHER (taking his tablets): Ask her yourself.
ANGEL: Sorry?
FATHER (CALLING TO MOTHER): Where are you Mum? (in whiney child like voice) Muuum?
ANGEL (attempt to sound amused): A heh.
ANGEL scuttles off in the direction of the bedroom, just as her MOTHER appears in a dressing gown, held by CASSIE on one arm. She is younger but frailer than her husband.
MOTHER: Were you calling me?
CASSIE: We’re just coming out for some breakfast, aren’t we Mum?
ANGEL: Don’t hold her so hard under her arm -
CASSIE: Back off Angela!
ANGEL: It bruises her –
MOTHER: I’m alright. I was absolutely bedriddled last week but -. (ANGEL hugs her mother) Not too tight darling. Morning dear. You’d laugh at Cassie’s present Ron. Ron? (she holds up a doll and shakes it at FATHER) It’s called a ‘Stress Doll’.
CASSIE: I don’t think Dad’s going to appreciate it like (you)
MOTHER (OVER): Watch!
She strangles the doll, which instantly makes a noise as if it were gasping for breath.
MOTHER: Isn’t it hyterical? (FATHER doesn’t react.) Doesn’t she look well? Ron? Doesn’t Cassie look well? Darling? (FATHER looks up and half nods in acknowledgement. CASSIE is secretly pleased by this. MOTHER notices the flowers) Ooh. Who are these for?
FATHER: The card.
For a moment CASSIE and ANGEL watch, spellbound, as MOTHER reads the note and smiles at FATHER adoringly.
MOTHER: Thank you darling.
He kisses her hand.
FATHER: Forty years it’ll be.
ANGEL: Actually thirty nine.
CASSIE: Why’d you marry the day before Anzac Day?
MOTHER: I don’t know - easier to remember?
CASSIE: So did you march with him on your honeymoon?
MOTHER: Don’t be silly. They weren’t (allowed)
FATHER (OVER): I bloody marched. For Dad I marched.
MOTHER: You did darling.
FATHER: And you supported me always - thoughtful, kind, generous woman.
MOTHER (to CASSIE and ANGEL): Your father was a hero.
ANGEL: And you were the town beauty.
MOTHER: He was the only man who enlisted in Wirramai. No one else. All the boys waited in terror to see if their birthday was called –
ANGEL: Vincent Calleri sent his boys back to Italy –
MOTHER: - but not your father. He was there –
FATHER: With Dad I (was –)
MOTHER (OVER): - ready and willing -
FATHER: Like my father with his father –
MOTHER: So handsome in his uniform. All the girls melted when he walked past..
For a moment FATHER and MOTHER only have eyes for each other.
FATHER: “I’m going to have you,” I said. “When I get back. I’m bloody going to have you.”
MOTHER: And you did.
FATHER: I did.
MOTHER: You did.
FATHER wraps his arms around MOTHER. ANGEL sighs: for a moment all is well with the world. CASSIE walks over to the kitchen. FATHER returns to reading. MOTHER puts the flowers in a vase.
MOTHER: Where’s Devina?
ANGEL: Shopping.
MOTHER: Still?
FATHER: Don’t start your fussing -
CASSIE: She’s just keen to have us all here aren’t you Mum.
ANGEL picks up her mobile and walks to the corner of the room, dialling.
MOTHER: Maybe they’re bogged.
ANGEL: I’ll call them.
FATHER: Not in that hovercraft with wheels.
CASSIE (sitting her mother down on a chair): What would you like for breakfast?
MOTHER: Oh. Um.
FATHER: Like something NATO uses for warzones.
CASSIE. Toast and jam?
ANGEL (waving phone in the air): No toast. Hyatus hernia. You taken your meds?
MOTHER nods.
CASSIE: Bread and butter?
ANGEL: Wheat blows her up.
FATHER: Get me a cup of tea – water’d be boiled by now.
MOTHER: Get your father his tea.
CASSIE (to ANGEL): Make the tea for Dad.
ANGEL: I’m on the phone./
FATHER: Tea please now.
CASSIE (to FATHER): Just a sec – (to ANGEL) You’re not on the phone –
ANGEL: I’m trying to get reception!
CASSIE (to MOTHER): Porridge Mum?
FATHER: Cup of tea.
MOTHER: Get his tea for God’s sake. In the container there.
CASSIE (making the tea): I know that! Same place for twenty years.
FATHER: Brain cells aren’t all shot then..?
CASSIE: What?
FATHER: Strong. I like it strong.
CASSIE: Like you like your women?
FATHER: What?
CASSIE: What do you want Mum?
MOTHER: I’m fine. Get your father’s tea.
CASSIE: I am! Jesus!
ANGEL hangs up her mobile, stands on a chair and redials.
CASSIE (CONT’D): What’s wrong with the landline?
FATHER: Too expensive./
ANGEL: Broken down.
MOTHER: That Jim Saunders drove into his father’s pole –
CASSIE: He what?
ANGEL: He crashed. A few weeks back.
FATHER: Useless bloody degenerate prick of a thing.
ANGEL: It’s been out ever since.
CASSIE chortles a little as she walks over to FATHER with the cup of tea.
CASSIE: It’s so HOT in here.
FATHER: Stop your whining.
MOTHER: The teabag – take it out for (your father –)
CASSIE (OVER, turning on the ceiling fan): I’m not. I’m just stating the obvious. /
FATHER: Turn it off.
CASSIE: Why’s no one replaced this relic of a thing?
MOTHER: Angel – (pointing to FATHER’s cup)
ANGEL walks over and collects the teabag from her FATHER’s cup – still holding the mobile phone to her ear.
FATHER (referring to teabag): Leave it! (referring to fan) Turn it off. It gives me kidney pain.
CASSIE: Oh well open the window then.
She goes to open a window.
FATHER: LEAVE IT/
MOTHER: Don’t do that Cassie. (to ANGEL) Did you get through?
ANGEL: Out of range. Hold on.
ANGEL climbs up on a chair and waves the mobile around a bit. CASSIE fans herself and puffs angrily.
MOTHER (to CASSIE): He likes the warm./
FATHER: I like the warm.
CASSIE: Mum doesn’t.
FATHER: She does/
MOTHER: I do.
CASSIE: She doesn’t. You don’t.
FATHER: I like the warm. /
ANGEL: Dad likes the warm.
CASSIE: It’s like a jungle (in here).
FATHER (OVER): What would you know about jungles? Hmm?
Pause.
CASSIE: Nothing. I’d know nothing, okay? It’s just so bloody - HOT.
ANGEL (into phone): Hello Devina?
FATHER slams the cup on the table. It smashes. CASSIE turns off the fan obediently. There is a beat, a hush. MOTHER gets up and begins to clean up the broken bits.
ANGEL: We’re just wondering - could you call us to say when you’ll -?
CASSIE (grabbing the mobile, climbing up on the chair): In case you haven’t already guessed, we’re having such a fun time celebrating what is fast becoming yet another superbly enjoyable wedding anniversary slash Anzac Day weekend. Can you call and tell us how long you’ll be before someone takes to someone else with a machete? Tha-a-anks!
CASSIE hangs up the mobile and looks at her FATHER.
CASSIE (CONT’D): ‘Nuther cuppa?
